Kelsey HayneComment

Musing #2

Kelsey HayneComment
Musing #2

When you realize you don't belong in any particular place. That life is what you make it, and at the baseline of all truths, your mind and society is the only thing confining you to believing in a particular job or lifestyle. A perfect square box. Yes, I'm using that metaphor. It's not cliche. When you think life is about living where you've always known, and doing a job you've always thought you were supposed to do, and you never realize that the world is full of incredible places and new eye opening experiences. Different ways of life. You can never live a true fulfilled life having never read beyond the first page. Your belief of life is limited. What you think life on earth means is only true for the tiny circumference of space you've explored. 

So your boss at work can be frustrating, or your girlfriend/boyfriend isn't living up to your expectations. That's your mind. Have you ever tried to communicate with someone in a other culture without a common language? Some old grumpy guy tries sleeping in the back of the bus and has his feet inches from your backpack that's holding thousands of dollars worth of a laptop and camera equipment, and there's nowhere else to put it. You're scared he might kick it in his sleep and break something, but despite your efforts to kindly ask him nonverbally to remove his feet, he doesn't make effort to try to listen or understand. That's a real situation. Spend time in a culture that doesn't act the same way. You aren't just traveling, it's a whole new world with new rules, and the players aren't helping you win. 

Have you gone months without a single day alone? Always being surrounded by people. Nowhere to call home. Then when you're ready to break because you haven't caught fresh air, you have to cry for no reason in a strangers home because that's the only emotion left to spare? Traveling pushes you to new limits. Traveling by yourself is liberating but opens opportunities for more uncomfortable situations. Maybe not naive, but vulnerable. 

No matter where you go or what you do, how you choose to live your life. Your mind will always try directing you to believe you aren't happy. It will feed you stories. Don't eat them. 

Even though my travel has been limited compared to many others, I'm still victim of my mind telling me to rush through, see everything, then get back to my life. Time. You're running out of time to meet someone, get married, have kids, have a life. What is the rush? What am I trying to get done quickly for? Nobody is waiting for me. Nobody on this earth cares. My parents will die. My sisters will ultimately always be around. My friends, well, define friends. Less than a handful of people reach out to me on a regular basis. If it wasn't for Facebook and posting things, who would actually send me a message to know what I was doing these days? Nobody really knows or cares. So why am I hurrying through life for tomorrow or to get back to a life that doesn't exist? My life is now - made up of decisions and experiences, and being written with each day. 

The cliche sayings are all true. You have one life, how are YOU going to spend it? You create your own reality. No regrets. Live in the moment. You live your entire life within the confines of your head. 

Why are we so attached to chasing after what's next? Why are we so driven to look ahead instead of being present with our current moment?